10 Feb Anger is Easy
This is a guest post written by my beautiful and talented friend, Jess. You can find her at Oil & Splendor.
Anger is easy.
I’m sitting on my couch, very pregnant, and very annoyed.
Why? Because I’m impatient. I’m 37 weeks , and I think I should be finished, and that this little guy should come out…NOW!
My other pregnancies were not like this.
Graeme was born on his due date, and Scout was five days early. I was ready, but I don’t remember feeling this need to go early, or this extreme discomfort.
A disclaimer…I have had a relatively easy pregnancy, but these past few weeks I have had terrible sciatic pain, heartburn, and exhaustion. Anger has become my ‘go to’ emotion, and unfortunately, I have gone there quite a bit. I kept hearing this phrase…anger is easy.
I’ve never thought of myself as an angry person.
Apart from road rage, I have never thought of myself as an angry person, but jeez it is the emotion that I choose more often than not right now.
It’s the way I choose to react when my daughter doesn’t like the flannel sheets I put on for her since it’s getting cold.
It’s the way I choose to verbalize my requests after I’ve asked my son to put on anything 5 times.
It’s my reaction to the dog scratching at the door after I’ve wiped down the glass and his paws ten billion times.
You see…anger is easy because it feels good. It brings a release and makes me feel justified in my emotions because I’ve been ‘wronged’ by my three year old daughter, my five year old son, and my dog. Yep, it sucks to write that out.
Sure, my kids need to listen, appreciate when I change their sheets, and my dog needs to behave…but the emotion and reaction I ‘go to’ is my choice.
The worst part of my choices is that my Little’s start to emulate what they are seeing. My precious Scout reacts often as I do…I hear myself in her exasperated groans, and when she says, “That fweakin’ dog!”
I know this isn’t anything profound, but it’s what God is showing me about me. This verse really challenged me today, and how appropriate for Thanksgiving, and for my last bit of pregnancy…
“Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.” Psalm 63:2
Full disclosure, my lips are not saying much that is glorifying God.
Anger is easy.
Kindness seems to be divine at this point.
But I love the ‘because’ there….
‘Because your love is better than life.’
It is better. I mean, that’s what all the songs say.
Your love is extravagant….
Your love is better than chocolate…
I mean, that’s Sarah McLaughlin, but you get it.
There’s another song that always kicks my tail when I notice I’m angry and inadvertently ungrateful.
It says, “A thankful heart prepares the way for you, my God.” My mom is notorious for reminding me of this. She will often say, “start thanking him for what you don’t see.” So today, I don’t see my son yet, but I’m going to thank God that he will come at the right time.
I’m going to thank God that he will give me the grace to embrace my children and the ‘fweakin dog’ even when they choose not to listen to me, and the wisdom to know how to parent like he does.
I’m going to try real hard to choose love when I have road rage…I mean, I’ll try;)