22 May Mom, Is there Any water?
My six year old walks in to the bathroom while I’m putting on mascara. He asks sheepishly, “Mom, Is there any water?”
I don’t know if it’s just my kids, does anyone else’s do this?
They ask these roundabout questions which drives me crazy. Instead of asking “Mom, can you help me get a snack” they’ll sigh and say within my earshot, “I wish I could have a snack.” Or, “I don’t know why, I just feel so hungry right now.”
It makes me half insane and half want to burst out in laughter at how silly they sound!
My just-turned-four year old has been using this phrase for a while: Instead of asking for something straight out, he’ll say, “I bet I can…” like, “I bet I can have a cookie.” Or “I bet I can pick something to watch on TV.” When I catch him doing it (and sometimes you know I’m not really paying attention so he’ll get away with it), I always make him stop and re-phrase it in the form of a direct question.
“Henry, can you please just say ‘Mom, can I have a cookie?’” or ‘Mom, can I pick something to watch on TV?’
Why? Why do they do this?
I feel like the only reason that I can think of is because, as part of human nature, we all fear rejection. We fear that if we ask for something, we will be told “No.” And it’s true, there will be times when they ask for a snack and I will say “no”.
If this is the case, how do I teach my children that in spite of knowing they may be told no, they should ask anyway?
I confess that I contribute to this. I have been known to come off harsh. “Uh NO you can NOT have a snack because you’ve been eating junk ALL DAY!” I’m asking the Lord to help me be more gracious with my “No’s” and I am so thankful I have learned a greater level of gentleness from Him.
But the other side of me wants to prepare my kids that the world can give harsh no’s. It doesn’t mean they shouldn’t ask, and sometimes, they ought to keep asking.
What do you think? Do your kids beat around the bush sometimes? How do you handle it?
Note: If you know me, you know the family in the picture is not my family. I’ve still struggling with how much to include the faces of my family, especially my children, on this website. So please bear with me as I utilize stock photos for people pictures for now! On the other hand, how cute is that family!? <3