Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4:6-7
If you grew up in church, you may have heard this verse as many times as I did. The Peace that Passes All Understanding. The phrase sounded great, but I didn’t get it. I had heard it so often, but never really felt it, so I became immune to it’s power. I always wondered if something was wrong with me. How could I still be stressed out, frightened, worrying all the time? Even though I know the One who is in charge. I knew that He was in control, but was fairly certain that His will and MY will weren’t going to coincide. And I wasn’t going to like it.
So, I did it my way. I loved the Lord and tried to follow His teachings, but hadn’t fully surrendered my will to His. I was living Mostly Committed, instead of Fully Committed. Apparently I didn’t trust that He would truly work all things together for my good. (Romans 8:28)
I do now. I trust Him completely. Even when I am in utter darkness and have no idea how things will turn out, I KNOW that He will use them for my good. I am called according to His purpose and He will not waste my trials.
When my husband first left, I prayed that God would somehow use the situation for His Glory. That somehow my agony would not be wasted. And wow. Did He answer that one! He has drawn me so close in the last few years. And I hope I am finally a reflection (although VERY dim!) of His love to the world. I finally want what HE wants. Whatever that may be.
We are currently in a major storm. In the past, I would have been quaking. Literally shaking. But now, I finally have the peace! I no longer have to wonder what it feels like. I know it. And the phrase “peace that passes understanding” doesn’t cut it anymore. I call it “Unfathomable Peace”. Peace that defies logic. Peace that settles into your soul and makes you feel invincible. Even on the dark days.
No matter how this particular storm turns out, I KNOW God will protect us and will somehow use it for His Glory and our good. Of course, I am still praying and I certainly have my opinion of how I want it to turn out. I think I know what is best. But I am convinced that He absolutely knows what is best.
And as I trust in His Goodness and His Sovereignty, I can finally rest in the unfathomable peace I always wondered about.