Stop Counting Us Out

Lately, the stats and comments about kids of single moms are coming at me from every direction. What happens to kids of single moms once they become teenagers. Oh, another promiscuous teenage girl. Must be the child of a single mom. And today, a blog post by a well-known blogger saying maybe that shooting happened because he was the child of a single mom.

And I have had enough.

Did you notice that Cain had two parents present? And that he still killed his brother? Having two parents is no guarantee that a child is never going to make a bad decision. I once sat in the living room of a family with both parents in one home and heard them say, in front of their children, that they weren’t ready for kids and wished their kids hadn’t been born yet. Is that really better than one parent who loves unconditionally??

Yes, I believe the ideal that God planned is a mom and a dad living in a home with their children. Raising them together to walk with Christ. But we live in a broken world and it broke a long time ago in a Garden.

So what do we do now? Are we expected to just give up? Is my child at a major disadvantage because she is being raised by a single mom? The world seems to be counting her out.

And I have had enough.

I believe the HOW of parenting is more important than the “how many”.

My daughter is loved beyond measure. I pour my life into her every day. I point her to Christ constantly. And I know so many single moms who do the same. Who pour themselves out day after day for their kiddos. Who do anything and everything possible for their kids. And yes, we know the stats. And we live with the fear. We are only too aware of the dangers that our kids face. But rather than count our kids out and remind us of the struggles they face, or, for goodness sake, suggesting that someone went on a shooting rampage because they were from a single parent home, maybe you could try encouraging us and our kids.

Be the one who notices the great things in our kids and compliments them. Be the one who reaches out and becomes another great role model for our kids. Be the godly man who makes a point of talking to our kids at church and making them know they are valued. Be the one who tells us our kids are going to be ok because they are covered in the blood of Christ. Be the one to remind us that the past does not define us.

I know a lot of single moms. Many of them need to hear this…

YOU can be the one to change the tides. No matter what has happened in your past, no matter if your kids have their dads in their lives or not, your kids are not counted out. God does not look at your kids and see someone more broken than the rest of the world. God sees you. He sees you when you pray over your kids before school. He sees you spending every ounce of your energy to support your kids financially, emotionally and spiritually. And He is cheering you on. He loves you and He loves your kids more than you can even imagine. HE can make up the what we lack. And He will. Just ask Him.

So World? Don’t count us out. God certainly doesn’t.


A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. Psalm 68:5

I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also. 2 Timothy 1:5

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