I am waiting. I have been waiting for what feels like an eternity. Waiting for someone else to make a decision that will affect our lives greatly. It’s not so fun.
I think we all encounter circumstances like this more often than we like. Waiting to hear if we got a job. Waiting to hear test results from a doctor. Waiting to meet the right person. Waiting to have a child. It’s all out of our control. And we don’t like that.
At least I don’t.
I have been working on that. I am re-reading Trusting God by Jerry Bridges. Wonderful book. I know in my mind that God is sovereign and I choose to trust Him and His wisdom. It’s an active thing. When I don’t feel like it, when I worry, I choose to trust Him anyway. Sometimes we just have to will ourselves to do something. Our emotions want to go another way, but we CAN choose to control them and give it all to God.
But this wait I am in is getting long (don’t they all?). I am choosing to trust, but it’s not easy. I keep waiting for someone else to decide about my life. And it has been bothering me. Until now.
A couple of days ago, someone prayed for me in my small group at church. They prayed that I would remember that I am not waiting for someone else to decide. It’s not truly in their hands. God is in control of this hard thing and everything else. It finally clicked. I knew it with my head before, but now I know it with my heart. I am not waiting on these other people to decide anything. I am waiting on God.
I am waiting for His will to be accomplished (whatever that is). I am waiting for His perfect timing (whenever that is).
I can DO that!
My God, the God who loves me and works all things out for His glory and my good, the God who is sovereign over all, is working. I just can’t see it yet. But I can feel how He is working in my heart and changing me to be more like His son during this trial. And I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
My storm will pass. Your storm will pass. We can do this. Just keep clinging to the One who knows you and loves you and works all things together for your good, the good of those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)
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