I was talking to a dear friend of mine a few days ago. We found we both have such a hard time speaking up in Bible study. Even when we have something to contribute, something pressing on our hearts that needs to be said. I did it again last week. I sat there in Sunday School, with the words forming in my head again and again, but I couldn’t get my hand up. It just wouldn’t go. It’s so hard to put myself out there. It’s even hard to do it here, but at least you aren’t all looking at me. 🙂 I get to take my time and say it when I’m ready.
So imagine my surprise yesterday in Sunday School. Someone made a statement that I thought was totally off the mark. Suddenly, my hand shot up, high and strong. I actually glanced at it out of shock. But there it was. And I got called on. And my mind went blank. Then I just started talking. I don’t do monologues, I don’t give speeches. Just a few sentences that I feel need to be shared.
And when I was done, I was fairly certain my heart was going to pound right out of my chest. But it didn’t. It settled back down and the class went on. Apparently no one knew how difficult those 30 seconds were. Maybe the next ones will be easier.
I know this: I am learning some hard-won lessons. None of them are easy and I don’t want them to go to waste. If something God has taught me can be used by Him to help someone else, I can’t keep quiet. So I’ll just keep asking God to use me, and give me the courage I lack.