I just read an article by Beth Guckenberger, an author and executive director (along with her husband) of Back2Back Ministries, an international orphan care ministry. I’ve never heard of her before, but this sentence jumped right off the page and into my heart.
“I cry when I run out of what I need and ask for more from Him. I feel Him respond (often giving me more than I need) and I know again I am not alone in this pursuit-of-lost-lambs.”
The Pursuit of Lost Lambs. This is what I am called to.
I saw a friend of mine at church on Sunday. She told me how my mom talks about my calling to care for orphans through adoption. And she told me she is waiting for the day she hears that I am director of an orphanage. It caught me off guard. It’s truly something that never crossed my mind. And the Spirit moved in me and said, no. I am not the one to do fund-raising, to hire workers, do the business side of orphan care. I am called to be in the trenches. Holding them through the tears. Loving them through the hurt. Proving to them that they are valued and cherished and special and loved with a crazy love that won’t ever quit.
I am so glad she said that to me. God used those words to speak clearly into my very soul and tell me what He is calling me to do. The kids that come into my life and family will be broken (as we all are). They will have major hurts. And I get to be a tool used to help them heal and bloom into all God created them to be.
This will not be easy. Please, don’t for one minute think I am walking into adoption blindly. I feel such joy over it because I know it is what God is calling me to, but I also know it’s going to be impossibly difficult. I am going to hurt with my children. Ache for them. Be exhausted by the tears and the pain and the work of helping them get through the difficult life they have had. But…
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9