Here We Go Again

God has called me to be transparent. Sharing the triumphs along with the hard days is the only way I know to help others on this same path. This path isn’t easy. Along with my faith that has grown by leaps and bounds and the peace that centers me, the sadness has its strong days, too.

Today was one of those days.

Let me just say, I do not advocate reliving the past. So many things can go wrong in life and spending our time and energy dwelling on them accomplishes nothing. I think I could go round and round over all the past hurts, even the ones I have forgiven, and still be hurt by them again. Ugh. What a waste of energy. Little things can happen and I am instantly back 4 years ago in an ugly, painful moment. It can catch me off guard and take my breath away. Then I pray for the grace and strength to catch the memory before it catches me.

And yet, sometimes, life makes us relive those moments and memories. What we are going through right now is forcing me to recount the past. Again. My only other option is not an option. And the unfathomable peace that God is in control doesn’t negate my sadness over the past.

But somehow, I will find a way to not let it get me again. I may be sad for a day or two, but joy will come one of these mornings and I will be moving forward again.

Getting through today involved some chocolate. 🙂 Tomorrow, it will involve organizing the house while listening to my Christian music that makes me want to dance.

And soon, my sun will be shining again.


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