Last weekend was the women’s retreat for our church. I really don’t like being away from my kiddo, so it’s not something I would normally consider. I occasionally have to go away overnight for work, but going away for me seemed selfish and unnecessary. But my church asked me to photograph the event. Then they offered to sponsor my weekend there. I love photography and love when I can do it to help someone, so I agreed.
As the weekend approached, I had no idea how I would make it 48 hours without my kid. And the evenings were a bit rough. I don’t know a lot of people yet, and I certainly don’t know them well. I wondered what I was doing there, so out of my element. Sometimes I wanted to be sitting at home, lonely, but comfortable.
Then came Saturday morning. My closest friend there caught me on my way in to breakfast. She had saved me a seat. We spent much of the day together and had a wonderful chance to catch up and just hang out. The teaching sessions that day were good and challenging and I felt much more connected. I want to bottle up the feeling of togetherness from Saturday afternoon and hold on to it when I am lonely.
At the core, I think one of the biggest problems single moms face is isolation. We’re lonely! Not necessarily for a man, but for time with other grown-up women. It was really hard to put myself out there this weekend, but I know it’s incredibly important. So I took a deep breath and jumped in. And I am so glad I did. I can feel the change in me. I have some goals and things I want to put in place from the weekend and I have some new friendships that are forming.
I find myself smiling a lot more. That is good for me and has to be good for my kiddo, too.
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