So, almost a year and a half ago I landed a huge client. As you may have been able to see from my lack of posts, I was completely swamped with work. It was amazing, creative work that I really loved. And it took over our whole lives. We moved into a larger place to accommodate how much space the work took up. I was still able to be at all of my daughter’s events, but we didn’t have much fun time together. I was working constantly, trying to keep my head above water. And it felt so safe to have all that work. My quiet times suffered, and our time together suffered, but I loved the safety of it.
A couple of months ago, that client unexpectedly left me for a big agency. I was heartbroken and scared. I tried to keep resting on God’s promises to provide for us.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? Matthew 625-26; 28-30
If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Matthew 7:11
So here I am, two months later.
And He is giving such good gifts. It’s like I was holding my breath for a year-and-a-half. Trying not to move make a false move, so I wouldn’t lose the work and security I loved. After leaning on God for so many years, I expected myself to have it figured out by now. But instead, I put my faith in my work. In the safety of a known paycheck. God took away that safety net and I am back to leaning solely on Him. Which is where I should have been all along.
And these last few days (once I finally surrendered to Him, again) have been so beautiful. He is giving good gifts. Gifts I didn’t have time for two months ago. Gifts He knew I needed in my life. Gifts my girl needs. Time to walk outside and just breathe in the beauty He has created. Time to spend with Him. Time to write. And today, time with friends. An entire afternoon with my house filled with kids playing and laughing (mostly) and time to talk and share our hearts.
It’s like I am watching a whole new chapter unfold before my eyes. And watching us bloom even more.