So, it’s Christmas Eve. And I feel totally unprepared. We never put up our white lights tree on the porch. Or the star light garland in the front hall. Or made Christmas cookies.
I love Christmas and usually get the presents wrapped early, so we can enjoy how they look under the tree. Instead, we finished our shopping yesterday (7-year-old and I taking on the mall!) and I wrapped last night. The last 2 months of sickness make me feel like we lost 2 entire months, just getting by. And now Christmas is upon us. We managed to get a Christmas tree, which I absolutely love, but we were sick even then and tromping around in the cold rain while sick to get a Christmas tree isn’t the stuff cherished Christmas memories are made of.
Then last night at bedtime, I had this conversation with my sweet little one. “Mom, do you know the one thing I want for Christmas?” “What, Love?”
Oh, yes. I know none of the rest of it really matters. I know that we celebrate Christmas because of Christ. And I know that I have tried hard to push past all of the wants of Christmas and show her the most amazing gift of all. The only gift that really matters. And I know she gets it. That’s the best gift I could ever imagine.
Tonight, we get to go to church together and celebrate HIS coming. We get to have a wonderful Christmas Eve dinner with Grammy and then she’ll sleep over, so we can be together Christmas morning. We’ll open gifts, eat waffles (our family tradition!) and head to the cousins’. The best parts of Christmas are coming. Whether we were sick for 2 months or not. We again get to celebrate our Lord coming for us. Pursuing us. Loving us with a never-ending, all-consuming, redemptive love.
We wish you a wonderful Christmas with those you love, celebrating the One who loved you first.
The adoption process is a struggle. Sometimes it feels like continually walking uphill through mud. I am trying so hard to rest and trust in God’s timing. And He is constantly showing Himself faithful.
I am part of a facebook group of moms and dads adopting through my agency. People post about the wait. How long they have been on the waitlist, how long it is since they were matched with their children, when they might get to bring them home. I am still waiting to get on the waitlist. This must be how patience and trust are built.
I have been working on the adoption officially since July. But in my heart I have been waiting for this little girl for 35 years. I wear my Love Africa necklace so she can be with me in spirit, even while we are waiting for her. Every day, I do something for the adoption. Make another necklace, promote our upcoming benefit concert, check on paperwork, search for grants.
There was a mistake on some paperwork last week and I am waiting for it to be corrected and our journey to be unpaused. Each day that goes by looks like one more day without her. When in reality, God controls it all. It will happen in His timing, whether it’s by paperwork needing correction, or the court being slow or fast. It’s hard to release the control. (even when I don’t really have it!)
But God is faithful. He has shown Himself in our lives in such huge ways over the last few weeks. 3 weeks ago, I was doing paperwork, praying every morning. Telling God that I would keep walking forward, filling out one more form and trusting Him to provide financially. AND HE DID. Big time. Enough money has been raised for our next payment. When the paperwork is done, the money will be on its way to my agency. I can hardly believe it. And yet, I’m not entirely surprised. After all, it’s what I have been asking Him for.
So wait list, here I come. A few more weeks and everything should be straightened out and submitted. Until then, I will keep trusting, keep praying. And I will keep telling everyone who will listen about God’s faithfulness and provision.
My daughter and I were watching Cousins Undercover the other night. The cousins fixed up the house of a man, a teacher who has impacted so very many lives. So many of his friends and family and students were there to help with the work.
When they were showing him the finished house, his dad was there and at one point, someone’s microphone caught him quietly say, “I’ve got you” to his 30 year old son. It was such a beautiful moment. And I am so glad they didn’t cut it.
I’ve got you. I am holding on to you and you will be ok. I am your parent and I will always be here for you. That’s what our kids need to hear. They need to know that no matter what happens in life, we have them. When they have horrible days and don’t know why. When they are ornery or happy or mad or sad or joyful. We have them. WE are the ones who will never let go. Never walk away.
And it’s what God says to us. I’ve Got You. The great I AM has you. And me. He’ll never let go. Once you are His, you are His forever. No matter what. And I believe He is there beside us in our best moments and in our hardest moments, whispering, “I’ve got you”.